Change is uncomfortable!

I've made some changes recently and had forgotten how uncomfortable they can be. We are creatures of habit. There is a lot of wisdom surrounding change. The title of this post is new wisdom to me that I received from a friend. She was right. Change really is uncomfortable but absolutely necessary as you work towards achieving your goals.

Pushing past our comfort zones and trying new things is ultimately how we evolve but it is important to give yourself time to adapt to your new situation. Change is a process of both beginning and ending. It is important to take time to grieve what you are leaving behind while you embark on your new opportunity. Although starting a new job can be exciting it can also be very stressful to be in an unfamiliar situation and to have to let go of all the things you liked about the old job.

As I settle into my new life and push past the initial discomfort of transition I am beginning to feel energized by the adventure. The new is starting to feel familiar as it always eventually does.

Authenticity

I was asked the other day about what annoys me the most. To my initial surprise my mind immediately went to "inauthenticity." I was shocked that I didn't automatically say "people who don't signal" or "dirty dishes that don't quite make into the dishwasher." Instead my thoughts went immediately to a core value - in everything I do I want the opportunity to be completely myself and I expect that from others.

From a career stand point I've come to realize that if I don't feel as though I can be myself after spending some time in a job I'm probably in the wrong job. Barbara Moses gives us an excellent definition of authenticity in her book Dish:

Being authentic means not thinking about how you are perceived, talking about what you want, expressing personal views, behaving in a way consistent with values, not changing your behaviour from one situation to another, and having a personal style that is readily communicated.

When people say that you should follow your gut when making career choices, to me that means that you should go in the direction that allows you to be you. That ever prevalent word 'fit' that so many employers use these days speaks directly to the ability to be authentic. You will only 'fit' with an organization that will allow you to be the best version of yourself. That will draw on your greatest talents and allow you to grow.

Having it all & balance too!

I recently read a book about midlife women and their insights on their careers and lives. I intend to write a review of the book on this site but I also want to address individually some of the great insights the book offered. The book is " Dish: Midlife Women Tell the Truth about Work, Relationships and the Rest of Life" by Career Guru Barbara Moses.

The book talks a lot about how we as a society tend to "want it all": the big job, the perfect marriage and family, personal achievements and so on. The women Moses surveyed collectively came up with this insight regarding that desire:

You can have it all, just not at the same time.

Reading that phrase was yet another eureka for me. Life happens in stages and each stage has it own focus. Accepting this and deciding what focus is right for your current stage or whether or not you are in the stage you need to be in, is key in finding that ever elusive BALANCE.

Depending on the stage of life or your career you are in, balance will mean something very different to you. I know quite a few high performing individuals who truly believe their sixty hour work week is balanced. I also know other high performing individuals in very different stages who find it difficult to feel balance in their twenty hour work week.

What stage of your career are you in? What are your current priorities? What do you think the next stage will look like? Answering these questions and truly understanding your place in the process may relieve the pressure to "have it all at the same time."

The Key to Learning

Our society is placing more and more value on life long learning. As an employee you are expected to be constantly updating your skills, abilities and knowledge just to maintain your current role or to be able to move up and on. The interesting thing is that at the same time demands on our time are increasing in the workplace. This is interesting because the key to learning is having the time to reflect. As we charge through life it is impossible for us to learn from our experiences if we don't take the time to reflect and process the information.

When you attend a workshop or a learning opportunity, how do you process the information? Do you summarize the key points and bring them back to your colleagues? Do you take the materials, truly intending to review them again, but really just file them away because you don't have the time to revisit them?

Think about this next time you take the time to learn and remember that you need time after the experience to integrate the learning.

The Secret to Networking

I attended a workshop recently, something I like to do often to recharge my brain, and gained a lot of valuable tools and insight. Some of the most interesting learning though came from the conversations I had in the breaks with my fellow participants.

One key insight came through a conversation about the great networkers we've all met and watched in awe. You know the type, you attend an event with a friend and realize they know almost everyone in the room or you watch another friend have a conversation with a perfect stranger that has the quality of one between life long friends. As I chatted with the workshop leader about these phenomenal people he mentioned this gem, one of his great networking friends said it all came down to four words: Be interested not interesting.

Eureka! There is no better way to say it. I think we can all remember a time when we've walked away from a conversation at an event thinking "What a nice person" and realized you didn't really learn much about them but they learned tons about you. That is what the great networker does, they ask questions, paraphrase and generally make you feel like the most important person in the room. They are interested and that makes the person they are interested in feel great. Not only that but they now have great material to follow-up on with you and continue the relationship. Next time you are out there meeting new people give it at try!