Authenticity

I was asked the other day about what annoys me the most. To my initial surprise my mind immediately went to "inauthenticity." I was shocked that I didn't automatically say "people who don't signal" or "dirty dishes that don't quite make into the dishwasher." Instead my thoughts went immediately to a core value - in everything I do I want the opportunity to be completely myself and I expect that from others.

From a career stand point I've come to realize that if I don't feel as though I can be myself after spending some time in a job I'm probably in the wrong job. Barbara Moses gives us an excellent definition of authenticity in her book Dish:

Being authentic means not thinking about how you are perceived, talking about what you want, expressing personal views, behaving in a way consistent with values, not changing your behaviour from one situation to another, and having a personal style that is readily communicated.

When people say that you should follow your gut when making career choices, to me that means that you should go in the direction that allows you to be you. That ever prevalent word 'fit' that so many employers use these days speaks directly to the ability to be authentic. You will only 'fit' with an organization that will allow you to be the best version of yourself. That will draw on your greatest talents and allow you to grow.

Having it all & balance too!

I recently read a book about midlife women and their insights on their careers and lives. I intend to write a review of the book on this site but I also want to address individually some of the great insights the book offered. The book is " Dish: Midlife Women Tell the Truth about Work, Relationships and the Rest of Life" by Career Guru Barbara Moses.

The book talks a lot about how we as a society tend to "want it all": the big job, the perfect marriage and family, personal achievements and so on. The women Moses surveyed collectively came up with this insight regarding that desire:

You can have it all, just not at the same time.

Reading that phrase was yet another eureka for me. Life happens in stages and each stage has it own focus. Accepting this and deciding what focus is right for your current stage or whether or not you are in the stage you need to be in, is key in finding that ever elusive BALANCE.

Depending on the stage of life or your career you are in, balance will mean something very different to you. I know quite a few high performing individuals who truly believe their sixty hour work week is balanced. I also know other high performing individuals in very different stages who find it difficult to feel balance in their twenty hour work week.

What stage of your career are you in? What are your current priorities? What do you think the next stage will look like? Answering these questions and truly understanding your place in the process may relieve the pressure to "have it all at the same time."